


Deeply

by twowritehands



Category: The Middle
Genre: Bisexuality, Coming Out, Falling in Love Accidentally, Friends to Lovers, Homosexuality, M/M, On Purpose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 03:39:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10585662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twowritehands/pseuds/twowritehands
Summary: When Sean’s family surprises him with a beach house and a chance to cut loose before med school, he and Axl make major party plans.But a startling confession changes the course of the weekend, and quite possibly the rest of their lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**:: :: :: Thursday Afternoon; ARRIVAL :: :: ::**

Axl sat with his toes in the sand, watching the waves. In a few short hours, the first of the guests would arrive and this celebration would be underway. He was so freaking proud of Sean. His best friend got into med school. One day, he was going to be a doctor. Sean deserved the best weekend money and good booze could provide.

Sean’s family had hooked him up with a cabin on the beach, rented for four days. Axl had wanted to go epic, invite hordes and go wild. But naturally Sean showed no enthusiasm for that approach. He preferred not to totally trash the cabin his generous uncle had rented for him. The beach officials frowned on huge parties like that anyways. Neighbors would be disgruntled by the noise. Blah blah blah.

So Axl had selectively picked some of the hottest people in East Indie and Notre Dame. If it couldn't be an epic party then it was going to be an epic triple date. He got a girl for himself. A guy for Sean, and then two more hotties that were lesbians and not shy of PDA. Just thinking about it made Axl tingle. This weekend was going to be lit.

A sharp whistle made Axl turn his head. Wind pushed his curls in the way, so he scooped them back in order to better see. Sean walked barefoot from the house in swim trunks and a t-shirt. He had his iphone in hand.

“So that was Max,” he said, dropping down into the sand beside Axl. “They're not coming.”

“What? Why?”

“Mara and Jamie broke up. And since apparently Bridgette has had cold feet about a blind date weekend anyway, Max called to cancel because when it's all said and done he would rather study for finals.”

“What the hell?”

“It's fine Ax, really. Life happens.”

“No!” Axl cried, kicking sand. “We're supposed to be sending you off in style. You got into med school, dude. That's huge! I wanted this weekend to be one of the wildest most memorable of your whole life.” He sighed and pressed on his eyes. “Max and Bridgette were going to have a three way with you and everything!”

Sean went dark red. “What? Really?”

“Yeah. It was going to be a surprise. Now it's just a boring couple of days of dudes alone on the beach.”

“Hey. Not boring. I’ve got my best friend with me.” Sean propped back on his hands and looked at the ocean. “So what if this weekend isn't about wild partying. I'm fine with that. It can be memorable in other ways.”

“Like how?”

“Like just you and me and our life long friendship. We’ve been buds for eighteen years. Is that insane or what?”

“It blows my mind. Legal adults were born the day we became friends.”

Sean snickered. “I want to be able to look back twenty years from now and remember this weekend. Get ready for some seriously deep conversations, bro.”

Axl dropped onto an elbow and heaved a deep sigh, turned his face up toward the sunshine and twitched his fingers. “OK go.”

Sean laughed. “Oh so right this second? We're going deep?”

“Deep as you can. I'm ready, dive on in.”

“Okay,” Sean wiped at his nose, then snapped his fingers. “Okay. I have been meaning to get something off my chest…. I'm still mad at you for not asking me to be your best man.”

Axl scoffed.

“I know. I know. Your marriage to April was a mistake and barely lasted two days but it still hurt.”

Axl fell flat on his back. Sean hurried to explain himself. “I mean, I get how it happened and how fast it was over and how little the whole thing matters but it still Just--it bugs me. I hate thinking about how you apparently loved this girl so much you married her and I never even spoke to her.”

Axl winced and dared to take a look at the brief but fiery chapter of his life. “Sometimes I think back and it feels like remembering a crazy weird fever dream. Insanity and fantasy rolled up into one and then, like, exploded into this Christmas time nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from even when my mom was trying to kill me.” At this Sean laughed so Axl did, too. He sighed, embarrassed. “I haven't been myself this year, and I'm sorry I got hitched without you by my side. Won't happen again.”

Sean’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“I hereby swear on my amazing, luscious hair that I will not propose to, or marry, another woman without expressed support from you, my best friend who would have never let me take April to the courthouse had I let you meet her.”

“Good enough for me.”

Axl dug two hands into the sand at either side of him, gripping handfuls only to feel it all slip through his fingers no matter how tightly he held it. He found it oddly fitting, considering the relationship he just ended with April. That whole thing had been one giant shit storm of attempting to control the uncontrollable. Beautiful girls can't be the love of your life by sheer will power. Axl sighed, intimidated by his own strand of thought.

The pressure to share bubbled up and burst out on his tongue. “Okay, what else can we talk about?”

“Hmm,” Sean frowned in thought and looked out to sea. He bumped a huge shoulder. “That's all I got right now. You go.”

“Me?” All of his thoughts ground to a halt. Heat crawled up his suddenly tight throat. His brain filled with the images of lesbians and three-ways which had been on his mind for days now. Disappointment was heavy in his gut. “Um. I'm cool. I'm good.”

“Bullshit.”

“What?” Axl defended, just a little too high pitched. Sean gave him a look. Axl rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. Um. Well. Okay--i got one. Should I cut my hair?”

Sean laughed. Axl kicked some sand at him. “I'm serious, dude. This is such an important question. You know the importance of the role my hair plays in my love life, hell, even everyday life. I'm the guy with kick ass hair, but lately. Since April. I don't know….I sort of feel like there needs to be a change. So I ask again. Should I cut my hair? Have more of a professional businessman look? Can I pull it off?”

Sean dusted his hands and reached over, commenced to pushing the curls around in an attempt to visualize their absence. Axl allowed it, finding the soft heat of his friend’s fingertips strangely comforting against his scalp and occasionally against his ears.

“I think your hair will be amazing no matter what length it is.”

“For real? You're not just saying that? Because I'll do it. I go inside right now and shave it all off.”

“Well don't fucking _shave_ it. A trim, out of your eyes, off your ears maybe. Short in the back.”

“The trouble is we don't know the curl factor. Right now it has this great body wave quality from the weight. Like, I'm afraid the shorter it is the tighter the curl. I don't want a freaking perm, you know? And cow licks are so annoying.”

“Then keep the hair.”

“You think?”

“Yes. I mean, it sounds like you would rather and you make excellent points. Plus, you know, I think I would just miss the glorious mane.”

“Then that's that. No make over for me. Thanks man.”

“Did I pull off long hair?”

“Sure. Yeah. I mean…” Axl made the mistake of meeting Sean's eye and failed to keep a straight face. They both cracked up laughing. “Okay. No. Not really. It was too thin and somehow ratty and you just looked homeless.”

Sean put a hand to his chest. “Ouch.”

“From the heart man, I am so glad you cut it.”

“Okay, I get it. Jeez.”

“The beard was great though.” Axl added suddenly. Sean double looked him, sobered. “Huh?”

“Made you look older. Stronger.” Suddenly it just made more sense to really _study_ the horizon out over the water. “I hate to say it but your beard was probably cooler than my hair.”

Sean gasped. “Then that's that. I’m not shaving in the morning.”

“How long will it take for it to come fully in?”

“About a week. What about my chest hair? Would it be too much with a beard? I don't want to be the hairy guy.”

“I hate you.”

Sean pulled his t shirt over his head. His strong pecs had curling reddish hair across the nipples and down the sternum. A happy trail traversed his flat stomach. Axl stared and then, _totally_ without thought, reached over and touched.

Sean's breath reversed and then flowed out again in a shaky manner. Axl paused with his fingers on his bro’s breast plate and then, with a flick of his eyes to Sean's, let his fingers trail down a little.

“Nothing wrong with being a hairy guy. Lot of people find it sexy.”

Sean grinned. “Ok then. That's that….”

Axl retracted his fingers and cleared his throat. He drummed out a rhythm on the sand and fisted handfuls of it again. To his great relief, Sean said nothing. As such, eye contact and chest touches went under a rug and stayed there. Axl cleared his throat again. He needed to fill the silence, but he wasn't sure how.

His first instinct was to bitch and moan about the cancelled party. But he didn't want Sean to think he loathed the idea of spending one on one time with him. Axl couldn't complain about that; in fact, he loved the idea more than he was prepared to. He just didn't appreciate Max and the girls abandoning him, and inadvertently forcing him to face some stuff.

Not much to do on a beach without a bonfire and happy drunk college students willing to play fun games except examine truth.

Well, screw that.

Axl charged into the water for a swim and left Sean sunbathing on the sand.

:: :: ::

Too soon, the sun went down and he could no longer casually stay away from Sean. Axl came inside with determined casualness in every word. Sean picked it up without missing a beat.

They laughed about stupid stuff and talked about Sean's hopes for med school. Axl couldn't remember the last time he really talked to someone like this, no holes barred, no judgments. It felt good.

The beach house had a tranquil kind of silence in every room. Even with music playing from the stereo everything felt muted with a heavy sense of peacefulness.

Maybe that was why Axl wasn't freaking out. So this weekend downshifted from party of the decade to a private getaway between lifelong bros. And he touched Sean’s body hair in a not-bro way. (Was there a bro way to pet a man’s chest?) He was genuinely having fun, so what did the details matter?

Sean was right, this weekend could still be memorable.

Axl wanted it to be. So much his fingers shook a little as he prepared a lazy dinner of ramen noodles with cut up hotdogs.

They washed the noodles down with beer and watched late night television until Axl curled up on his end of the couch and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**:: :: :: DAY ONE :: :: ::**

Sunlight streaming through the patio doors woke Axl at an ungodly hour. Did the sun really rise at five here? He covered his face with the blanket that he belatedly realized Sean would have put over him at some point. He smiled, feeling honest to god warm fuzzies.

“Oh, you awake?” Sean sounded way too chipper for someone who had definitely still been awake four hours ago. Did he even sleep? Axl peeked from the blanket and saw Sean in shorts and sneakers with an iPod strapped to his arm. “I'm going for a morning jog on the beach. Want to come?”

Axl rubbed sleep out of his eyes and nodded. He hadn't run for the hell of it in over a year. “Sure.”

 

Axl met Sean on the porch, wearing swim trunks, a t-shirt, and converse. “So I didn't pack for this.”

“That's fine,” Sean bumped his shoulders automatically before he even turned around. When he saw Axl, he flashed all of his teeth in a huge grin. “I like the do.”

A short laugh leapt past Axl’s lips and he touched the man bun that held back half his hair. “Yeah. Got a little tired of the wind keeping it in my eyes.”

“What if I grew my hair back out but kept it exclusively in a top knot?”

Axl smacked his lips. “No.”

Sean looked crestfallen as they lumbered down the steps into the cold sand. Seagulls and waves and a playful breeze were the only things that moved. Axl couldn't find another human moving anywhere on the horizon.

They laughed and took off at an easy pace to start. Sean demanded the reasoning behind Axl’s firm veto to a reprieve of long hair. Remembering to breathe properly as he jogged across the shifting sand, Axl explained the douche nature of a static updo. “I mean, people will see your hair up every single day and start to wonder what it looks like down. If you can't rip the tie out of your hair and be even sexier then you're just shooting yourself in the foot.”

Sean laughed. “Fine. You're the expert.”

“Damn right I am.”

Sean laughed. “Hey. Race ya to that drift wood down there.”

They raced for a bit but then just ran side by side. Axl’s body surged with electric energy and he felt loose and free. Man he forgot how great it was to run just to run and not as a drill for a football team he didn't want to be on. He thanked Sean for helping him remember why he loved sports in the first place. Not for the glory, but for the sweat that stained his t shirt.

They made it back to the house panting hard for breath. Sean ran shirtless and glistened appropriately. Axl stole more than one lingering look at the kind of body he wished he had.

Sean caught him staring and grinned. Axl’s lungs stalled and his belly fluttered. “Good run, man. I feel great!”

Still grinning, Sean jutted a thumb over his shoulder. “I'm gonna hop in the shower. Want to hit the boardwalk for breakfast?”

Axl nodded.

 

By eight, the little beach town had come alive. Axl had washed and changed into the only pair of jeans he brought but kept his hair in the convenient updo. Sean wore something close to yacht attire which was just so _Donahue_. Of course he packed for every foreseeable event, and looked amazing for it.

Clothes always mattered to Sean. That was one of the main reasons Axl hadn't been too surprised by the confession Sean had made in Kentucky. Not to say that all men who cared about fashion were gay, but Axl hadn't yet met the exception.

Mind flexing away from the memory of his bearded friend whispering details about a boyfriend, Axl looked up from his plate of eggs and zeroed in on the first beautiful woman he saw.

 

With her promise to call them later, the girl left and Axl gave his friend a cocky grin.

Sean rolled his eyes. “We get it. You like girls.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Listen, ever since Kentucky you've been this swaggering asshole and it'd be great if you cut the shit.”

Axl puffed. “Wow.”

“Man, don't get mad. I'm talking from the heart here. I know this isn't the real you. That's why I got excited about the weekend just being us. Maybe now we can work through whatever it is.”

“It's nothing. I'm just being _me.”_

“Oh yeah? What if that girl does call? What then?”

“Then I invite her and her friends to the party.”

“And sleep with her, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not going to sleep with any of them because we only have four days before we go back home. You won't ever see them again, so no you won’t. The real Axl doesn't do casual sex.”

“Like hell I don't.”

“Name one fling.”

“Ap--” he swallowed April’s name promptly.

Sean cocked an eyebrow. “Interesting. Axl Heck is such a great guy he married his one night stand!”

“Shut up.” Axl growled. Sean dropped the false applause and leaned on both elbows. Axl looked down at the half finished eggs. He felt like throwing up.

Sean was right. Before April, he loved Devin, and before Devin, Cassidy…. His entire dating record proved a steady incline in commitment level. No room for casual flings. This entire weekend had been bogus from the start.

“Okay. So I haven't had a legitimate one night stand. I've still made out with over thirty women so I've got game.”

“Not saying you don't. I'm saying you're a good guy who has been acting a little weird ever since I told you about Chris.”

 _Chris_. The name had been haunting Axl for months now. In Sean’s words, this _Chris_ was ripped, funny as hell, and capable of giving life changing blow jobs. Since Sean hadn’t shown a picture of the guy, Axl’s imagination had conjured Chris Pratt on his knees, smirking as he guided Sean through the carnal pleasures of men.... Brought him to life. Those were the words Sean had used. _I spent the night with him, man, and it--it’s like it brought me to life. I feel so alive._

“I guess I just don't know how to be around you now.”

“Why? I'm still me. Just a happier me.”

Axl pushed his eggs around, dropped the fork and scratched his head. “Okay. Going deep.”

Sean lit up and leaned forward eagerly. Axl didn't have the nerve to look right at him. “I think what happened with April was because of you.”

“Me?”

“All that stuff you said about how Chris made you feel. I wanted to feel that too. I mean, it sounds awesome to meet someone who changes your whole life like that. I think I projected all of that onto April. I made her into the perfect woman for me and ignored the stuff that didn't fit. I just wanted the magic so bad….”

Sean nodded pensively. “I get it, man.”

“Yeah?”

He shrugged. “Makes total, complete sense. And I don't blame you. We live and we learn, you know?”

“Thanks, man.”

 

“So, ...what happened with Chris, anyway?”

“We were passing ships in the night.”

Axl snorted. “Seriously?”

He blushed but shrugged. “I mean, he was a great guy and I don't regret him at all. It was what it was: an amazing night that really helped me accept who I really am and what I really need to be happy. It didn't need to be more than that.”

“So, Sean Donahue had a one night stand.”

“Don't tell my mother.”

“Life is so crazy, you know? In high school anyone would have bet money that I'd be the one with casual flings and you'd be married by twenty two.”

Sean laughed. “Yeah. It’s funny.”

“So have you been with anyone else?” The question popped right out of his mouth before he could stop it. Before he could convince himself he didn't want to know.

A blush crawled up Sean’s neck. “A date here or there.”

“Yeah? Anything saucy happen in the bathroom on those dates?” He meant it as a teasing jab, a bit of humor. Why did it feel like he had exposed his throat to be slashed wide open?

“No,” Sean said. “I know that’s the only bit of the culture that tv ever shows but it's not like that for me. What I did with Chris might have been just a one time hookup but, like, it was in a dorm room bed and stuff.”

Axl wanted to fling himself into the sun. He played it cool though. “Awwww, there’s the big softy Donahue I know. Nothing but missionary style for you, huh?”

Barking with bashful laughter, a huge hand swatted at him. Axl danced out of the way of it, cackling. “Ohho! Yeah, that’s right! You only ever do it face to face with the lights out, under the covers. You do the promise rings and meeting the parents and--” Axl faked a gag.

“Said the guy who recently _got married_!” Sean shot back.

“Hey that was an act of rebellion!” Axl shrieked.

“No. You loved her. You agreed to be her husband until death do you part.”

“I did something without a care to the consequences. It was wild as hell!”

“You took a girl as your wife to have and to hold.”

“YEAH, a blond ditz with a banging body that I met at a pool three months before!”

“Here comes the bride,” Sean sang.

“It lasted two days! We didn't have rings and we consummated in a _Winnebago_!”

Sean’s laughter fell and his eyes sparked and he asked, too quickly, “How?”

“What do you mean?”

“What position?” Sean pulled folded bills from his wallet and slammed it on the bar. “I bet you _fifty bucks_ you guys consummated with straight up missionary sex.”

“Yeah?” Axl swiped the money. “Ka-ching! I totally win because we did reverse cowgirl that went into a kind of spooning from behind thing.”

Sean burrowed his red face in his arms, laughing. Axl pocketed the money, laughing as well. He became aware of the bartender nearby, listening with a smirk and the table of girls nearby whispering and giggling to each other.

He slid off his stool and whacked Sean’s shoulder. “Come on, let's get out of here."

 

Sean knocked his shoulder into Axl’s as they walked. Axl knocked back. Their eyes met and they smirked and looked away. This felt like flirting. It made Axl’s heart race. For the 9,999th time, he pretended he didn't notice.

They began to plan their day. The long weekend would be over Tuesday morning, until then they were free to see the local sights, take in as much sunshine as possible, and do whatever else they could think of.

“I mean, you, me, and a couple beers on the beach sound good to me.” Sean’s tone and flickering, hooded glance caused Axl to bite his lip. For the millionth time he lost his strength. He couldn't ignore the fact that his friend was putting the moves on him and he _liked it._

He cleared his throat and could not believe how nervous he suddenly felt. The weekend’s original agenda reopened. Fun, kinky sex--only not so generalized. Axl’s vague, hazy plans now focalized into a crystal clear, white hot pinpoint:

Kissing Sean…. tasting his tongue… feeling his stubble on his face, the strength in his biceps, the heat of his body…. that breathless race of his heart.

Axl actually felt that one now, and inhaled deeply to stabilize. His head spun in circles, creating these mental images of romance that felt tangible, reachable, _doable_ in such a fresh, electric way.

It left him tingly and sweaty.

Oh god, oh god, oh god he needed to get a grip, take control, be cool. Sean couldn't see him spaz out. Talk about unsexy.

Admitting that he wanted to be sexy for a boy sent a body rush head to toe. A small gasp left him involuntarily.

Sean turned at the sound, met Axl’s eye, parted his lips.

Dammit he couldn’t pretend anymore. He wanted it. He wanted it _all._

The next thing Axl knew, Sean’s thick hands touched him at the waist and neck, gently pulling him closer.

A dark, dusty furnace closet; a sunny beach with waves crashing. No tongue; a teasing flicker that spiked a hunger deep into Axl’s core.

Two first kisses, as different as they could be, all one person.

What was that stuff from LIT 101? Axl didn't remember the vocabulary, or the books, or the authors, but he felt like a character in one of those classic novels he didn't read. Someone whose life had vivid moments of importance that kids had to write papers on, bullshitting about the metaphor of the ocean and the power of the human heart. Or something. Man if he'd known real life could be poetic he might have paid closer attention.

Axl’s body tensed with need. Their lips broke on another involuntary gasp followed by a shaky “oh god.”

Sean didn't release him just because the kiss ended. His hazel eyes looked huge this close, huge and brimming with joy. His thumb lightly traced Axl's jawline and it made Axl's knees weak.

“You and me and some beers, right?” Sean asked. “Sound good?”

Axl nodded.

 

They didn't need to talk about any of it. That was what blew Axl's mind by the time they got back to the beach house. Sean’s crooked smile and gentle touch said volumes. He wanted it all too. It didn't have to be complicated. They could be passing ships or whatever.

He decided not to think too much. Some parts of life you just needed to act first and think later. Axl prided himself on having street smarts in that area.

Okay, his spontaneous marriage turned out to be a mistake but he'd actually known that about ten minutes before saying I Do so the instinct held. His courage just needed a little work.

He felt his courage levels sinking below critical mass at the moment.

The heavy peaceful silence which permeated the little beach house suddenly had a name. Privacy. As in, the place where he could be real and vulnerable. With Sean.

Yeah, that required hella courage.

He didn't have it.

He bee lined to his room, changed into swim trunks, grabbed a six pack from the fridge and marched out to lounge chairs stuck in the sand. The beach was freckled with people walking and sunbathing. Not so private out here. Nothing beyond kissing could happen.

Easier.

Sean drifted out of the house after him with towels, sun glasses, and a special grin that made Axl bite his lip. It didn't stop Sean from stealing a quick kiss as he took the seat next to him.

The playful dance of lips promised more later. Axl chuckled and took a deep swig of liquid courage.

A few languid conversations, a thousand quick smiles and lingering looks, several comfortable silences, and three beers later, Axl had all the courage he needed.

Man kisses were hard, rough. There was something almost violent in how animal they could be. Sean had never before seemed so domineering but, damn, Axl liked this new side of his goody-two-shoes friend.

They left beer bottles and towels by their beach chairs. They almost tore down the vertical blinds as they fell through the sliding glass door. Trailing sand off their bare feet, they made it only to the couch.

He liked when Sean pushed him down on the cushions and crawled over him, hungry mouth stealing kiss/bites up Axl’s abdomen to his mouth. Holy shit. Their mouths clicked apart. Sean's ragged breath and burning eyes added a certain biting fire to his lustful smile. Axl really really liked this new side of his friend.

“What do you want me to do?” Sean asked. “Hm? How do you want it?”

Absurdly, Axl had a vivid flashback of freshman year of college when Sean, the dork that he is, sent out a mass email to all his frat bros with a link to an article about how to use dirty talk to get clear consent and avoid chances of accusations that would follow them for the rest of their lives.

Just now, remembering that dumb email, made Axl smile as his heart fluttered. This lustful animal guy might be new, but that conscientious good boy was the friend he grew up with. The friend he trusted.

Axl laughed, shimmying his shorts down. “Dude, come on, you can do anything.”

Sean grinned, hand sliding down Axl’s chest over his stomach to grasp his naked dick. “You sound pretty confident for someone who’s never had gay sex before.”

“Bring it on, bro.”

Sean’s all consuming kiss caused Axl to swallow the beer flavored smack talk before it fully left his lips. He bucked up into Sean’s hand, holding nothing back and allowing himself a full erection.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Axl felt shaky and his blood raced fast enough to make him dizzy. Sean’s shoulders were fucking huge to hold onto. And since when were his arms _this_ thick? And fuck yeah, this felt good.

Sean pumped him with a pleasant grip and quick ruthless rhythm. He fisted Axl’s hair and between kisses bit at his exposed throat. Axl thrust his hand down Sean’s trunks and took his throbbing dick in hand. He enjoyed the way Sean stuttered and gasped and thrust into his fist so eagerly.

When Sean fondled Axl’s balls, Axl released a moan like a whore and almost shot his load then and there except Sean squeezed him at the base. Axl’s nervous system lit up like a live wire. Sean’s sure fingers gently nudged the ovals of his testies around in their sack. Fuck. Axl began to tremble and gasp. “More, fuck, bro, more. Come on.”

He didn't know what he expected really. But it wasn't Sean shooting him a look and then suddenly moving down the couch, slurping the head of Axl’s dick into his mouth. Axl keened, rolling his head back into the cushions so hard his back bowed up and he thrust into Sean’s mouth.

Pumping him with fist and mouth and massaging Axl’s balls, Sean erased the entire world from existence. Moist heat. Friction. Pleasure. Sean.

“I'm gonna come,” Axl choked.

Sean squeezed him at the base. Axl shook bodily and protested verbally.

Sean laughed. “You said I could do anything.”

“Well don't fucking kill me, dude.”

Sean grinned and _nuzzled_ his erect dick and Axl's mind went blank. The scratch and pull of his stubble, the puff of breath from his nose, the soft bulge of his lips against the thick veins it all made him throb and leak and shudder with need.

“Is it really that good?” Sean whispered as he pecked little kisses, breath ghosting over Axl’s slick dick. “So good you could die?”

Axl bit his lip and nodded. Precum surged out of his slit. “Shit, dude. I have to come.”

“In my mouth?”

“Fuck,” Axl whimpered. “O-only if, only if that's okay. I'm clean. I got tested with April.”

Sean’s smile was big and bright. “I love that. Husband and wife testing together. That's sweet.”

“Fuck off,” Axl laughed, shoving Sean’s shoulder with his sandy heel. Sean grabbed his ankle, holding the foot there in place, and kissed his sandy toes. He pumped Axl’s dick as he did so. Axl breathed out shakily and didn't even realize he begged out loud. “Gahd, please, yeah, please--”

Sean’s lips closed around him once more, wet tongue working expertly against him as his fist worked the base. He released Axl’s foot to return to teasing his balls. In no time at all Axl was right back at the edge. He keened and choked and swore and laughed. “Yeah, I’m--ah, dude, I’m gonna--”

Sean’s slick fingers slipped back past his balls and pressed on his hole. With a howl Axl bucked into his mouth and broke.

He gasped as he watched Sean’s adam's apple work up and down and his throat fluttered around the head of his dick. It made him pulse more. His whole body twitched and shivered. He choked. Whimpered. Collapsed and gasped for breath.

Sean pulled off slowly. A warm, pleased chuckle, a sultry dark-eyed look. He showed his tongue, the pearly jizz on it. Axl’s entire body flashed hot. He touched Sean's tongue, felt the warm gooey slick as Sean sucked on his fingers and swallowed.

“Haha, yeah,” Axl slurred in triumphant praise. Sean moved up over him again, and his hot heavy dick pressed into Axl’s hip as they kissed.

Axl’s arms went over Sean’s meaty shoulder,  and he melted into the kiss, opening his mouth to let him. They hummed into one another and their mouths parted smiling.

Gentle fingers combed hair off Axl’s temple. His heart fluttered.

Sean grinned. “Feeling good?”

“Yeah,” Axl laughed self consciously. He had to hide his eyes, which was a totally new feeling in the romantic department. He felt so good it made him shy. That was a thing? Apparently.

Sean’s chuckle was warm with arousal. He kissed the fingers shielding Axl’s eyes and rutted a little against his hip. “Don't hide, dude. I wanna see you.”

Something in the tone of the request made Axl decide to peek coyly from his fingers rather than uncover his face altogether. The instinct to play on the shy thing was right on the money, because he saw the way Sean's eyes sparked and felt him leak and buck into him. “Oh, Ax,” he huffed, “so hot.”

Adjusting position, Sean slid his dick into the crease of Axl’s groin and thrust there in a quick rhythm. Axl kissed his heart out and flicked his thumbs over Sean’s nipples, which had such a positive result, he ducked his head to lick at the little pebbles of flesh. All the while he let loose these little sounds, giggly hums as he glanced up to meet Sean’s eye.

Sean came with a choked warning and a grunt. His spooge pooled hot and thick on Axl’s pubic hair. “Oh, geeze, man, that's so much,” Axl huffed in genuine awe at the amount.

Curious, he touched it and then licked his fingers. Potent, saltier than his own. Sean went to his side on the couch next to Axl, propped on an elbow. Sweat glistened at his hairline. “I can't believe this was a first. You're a fucking _natural_ at this, man.”

“Come on, is it really a surprise I’m awesome?”

“No,” Sean’s eyes glittered. His hand ran up and down Axl's body. It sent gooseflesh all over him because he knew that caress. He had caressed that caress. The post-sex-but-i-still-cant-get-enough caress. Like Sean only just got started memorizing every inch of him.

Too much. Abort.

Axl left the couch under the pretense of cleaning up. The exertion had burned away his buzz from the beers. He needed more.

As he downed the beer, butt naked in the kitchen, he assessed everything. He was such a damn coward. Why didn't he just stay in Sean's arms? Maybe he shouldn't be doing this. If he couldn't do it without booze…. Sean deserved better than that.

The bottle drained. Axl chucked it into the trashcan and buried his head in his arms on the counter. Fuck, what was he doing? Was this a real part of who he was or just a curiosity?

“Ax? Oh, man, are you okay?”

Axl flinched but didn't lift his head from his arms. He gasped into the safe darkness over the marble countertop. “Going deep.”

Sean silently moved to the stool opposite him. One of his hands covered Axl’s loose fist. He trembled and adjusted to properly hold on. Sean gave him a squeeze.

It helped. A lot of things stood still inside of Axl, the heavy stuff, while all the stupid bullshit continued to swirl around like a hurricane. He gulped and focused on the fixed points.

“I don't know if I'm gay.”

Sean made a noise of disagreement blended with hurt. “Axl, what just happened in there, the _way it happened_ , that means you liked it.”

“I know. I did like it. It was awesome. But what if it's all just a fluke? What if I don't want to do it ever again? Like now that the mystery is solved and the novelty wears off?”

Sean looked ashen. “Is that how you feel?”

Axl scratched his head. “Give me your answer first.”

Sean huffed with annoyance. “Well, it doesn't feel great but, dude, if that's you then okay. I know you're figuring stuff out. I thought something else would happen but if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. We’re still buds. No hard feelings.”

A deep breath helped ease the storm inside. He smiled. “Good.”

Silence fell and stretched into awkwardness. Sean drew on the countertop with a finger. “So you're just bi curious?”

Axl looked at the heavy truth inside. “No. I'm most decidedly swinging both ways now.”

Sean huffed, eyes shining. “Dude, you’re such a jerk! You made me think--”

“But I also just need this to be like two ships, you know? Like you had with Chris.”

Sean swallowed the rest of his words. “Okay.”

“For real?”

“Yeah. I get that. Figured that's what we were doing.”

“So you're cool with closing it up when the weekend is over. Back to just friends, we date boys and girls, we be each other's best man one day.”

Sean thought about it for a long moment, then smiled. “We get the rest of the weekend, though, right?”

Axl felt something inside tug towards Sean’s suggestive little smirk. His cock stirred. “Oh yeah, totally.”

 

After lunch, they hung out on the beach, face first into their spread towels, working on their tans. Sean had folded his trunks down to the crack of his ass for the lowest tanline possible without going nude. Axl could hardly take his eyes off the pleasing lines of his sweeping back and perfectly round ass, but when Sean caught him looking, he blushed and turned his head away.

That’s when he noticed the crowd gathering further down the beach, at the next house. The pulse of the loud music came into focus and he sat up, shading his eyes. “What’s going on down there?”

Sean went up onto his elbows, which only served to accentuate his shoulders and the delicious dip of his lower back which made Axl’s throat tight.

“Looks like a party.”

Axl smacked his lips with a moan of remorse. “See? I told you this was a party scene. Everyone is raving but us.”

Sean chuckled and rolled onto his back. Abs glistening with tanning oil, he stretched like a cat. “I’m good like this man. RE-LAX-ATION.”

It was so dorky, Axl couldn’t help but grin. “Come on, let’s walk over there. See if they invite us to hang.”

Truthfully, Axl began to fear what the night would bring between them. So far, they had only fooled around on the couch and the kitchen countertops. What kind of stuff would happen in the dark, in a big soft bed?

Mostly, he avoided these worrisome questions by simply not thinking about it. But they had sort of already exhausted their available past times. Axl needed a bigger distraction.

“Come on, we can’t go to the coast and not party even once.”

With a resigned sigh, Sean cracked an eyelid to look at him. “You really want to?”

“Let’s just check it out. We can bail if it’s lame.”

“Later, man. Looks like they plan to go all night. Let’s wait until they are drunker.”

Happy now, Axl relaxed back onto his blanket to bask in the glory of beach life.

 

The sun was setting, casting long shadows that raced into the water. In jeans and light sweaters, they crossed the shifty sand toward the neighbor’s party. It looked huge, writhing with college bodies, red plastic cups, and cool music.

Ridiculously nervous, Axl didn’t have much to say on the way over. The possibility of rejection was too potent to ignore. Sean walked beside him, occasionally brushing against him. Axl could smell his cologne and it excited him even further.

 _Please let us in, please let us in,_ he prayed. A party full of strangers was the perfect way to enjoy the night with his best friend. They could cut loose and have a good time with none of the pressure of having only Deep Talk to break up the sex.

Their casual approach from the shoreline brought them first upon a lone individual parked in the sand with a moody expression and a smartphone on which he typed. A tuft of dark hair stuck out of a beany, intelligent eyes scrutinized them with suspicion.

“Hey, man.” Sean said, friendly.

“Hey.” His voice was deep and lazy like the chronically bored.

“Cool party.”

He didn’t even glance toward the lights and sound behind him. “I suppose.”

Sean glanced to Axl for some help, so he flapped a hand back at their house. “We’ve got that place for the long weekend. This one yours?”

The stranger deadpanned Axl for a moment, but then his eyes glittered with amusement. A sly smile pulled at his lips. “No. A friend’s.”

Axl wasn't sure _how_ but he'd just won this guy over. Confident now of his standing here, he relaxed and asked out of curiosity. “Do you not enjoy crowds or something?”

“Not when it's a mass of drunken Neanderthals only interested in numbing the pain of their miserable existence.”

Sean chuckled at the burn. Axl decided he liked this guy. Something about him reminded him simultaneously of Brick and Kenny.

A shout from the party drew their attention to a guy crossing the sand to them. He had shocking red hair and a perfectly symmetrical face. “Hi. Who are you?”

“Oh, hello!” Sean brightened at the chance to connect with a more open person. “We’re your neighbors. I’m Sean, this is my best friend Axl.”

“I’m Archie.” He exuded kindness and didn’t skip a beat before adding, “You guys want to come in?”

“Sure!” Axl spared the loner a look. With twinkling eyes and a reluctant smile, the broody young man’s resistance buckled. Archie laughed and looped an arm around his friend’s neck. “This way, gentleman.”

Set free to enjoy themselves and mingle, Axl and Sean stuck close together in the crowd. Strangers greeted them and offered them drinks. Axl accepted one and Sean’s lips grazed his ear, his voice was lost in the loud music. Axl laughed and drank deeply before asking,

“WHAT?”

Sean’s hands pulled Axl closer. “I said be careful what you drink.”

Axl had a quip about his paranoia but it stalled on his tongue because Sean stayed close and his cologne wrapped around him as his hands laced with Axl’s.

His breath got shallow. Oh god. Partying was supposed to prevent this level of arousal.

Thankfully, the newest dance hit came on. Competition sparked in Sean’s eye and suddenly they were in a dance off. Axl diverted his energy to breaking out his best moves.

For a couple of songs in a row, maybe ten beautiful minutes, he was completely lost in the moment, high on life.

When the tempo slowed for one of Adele’s soulful ballads, Axl pushed sweaty hair out of his eyes and panted for breath. Sean plucked at his shirt and took Axl’s hand. “Let’s get some air.”

Night had completely fallen, and someone had set a bonfire on the beach. The atmosphere out here was a little more subdued. Groups were scattered in twos or fours playing various party games, so laughter combated the music out here. The cool breeze felt awesome after dancing for so long in the tight crowd.

He dropped his head back and gasped. “Oh my gahd! Look at the stars!”

“Oh, it’s gorgeous out here!” Sean agreed. He dropped to his bottom in a free space of sand , away from the bonfire to gaze up at the heavens. Axl sat next to him, but feminine giggles drew his attention from Orion’s Belt to the flickering orange flames. The fire was mostly surrounded by couples sitting close or kissing, and the giggles came from two girls lip locked. Axl gulped and looked back up at the stars.

Sean heaved a contented sigh. “Thanks for insisting we come over here, man. This is great.”

“I haven’t danced that hard ever.” Axl glanced over and caught Sean’s eye. The gaze held for a second before he lept up. “Let’s go down to the water.”

He had no plan, nothing that he needed to see down at the gently rolling waves; he just couldn’t stay there next to Sean, with starlight and firelight and people kissing all around. It filled his head with too many ideas.

“Think it’d be like Jaws if I swam out there?” Axl asked, just to pretend he had a plan.

Sean laughed. “Yeah, don’t. But if you want to get naked anyway, go ahead.”

“You know what? I might. The music has me wired. I feel like getting crazy.”

Sean made a noise of interest. “Sex on the beach can be more than a fruity drink.”

Axl giggled as his pulse escalated. He draped his arms around Sean’s neck. “Never did it outdoors before.”

Big warm hands rested on his sides. “Not even in a hot tub?”

He blanched. “You have? Dayum, Sean. You are such a frat boy.”

Sean’s pearly teeth flashed in the dark. “So what do you say?”

Axl hummed as he pondered his options, inching closer and closer to Sean’s warm body slowly. “Hot tub sex? Hell yeah. But beach sex just sounds sandy and gross.”

He laughed and kissed Axl as their bodies came flush together. Their cocks stirred. The kiss had a bite to it. “It’s probably illegal anyway,” Sean panted. They swayed. Axl kept them upright but pushed his hands under Sean’s shirt. “Or someone will post a pic online.”

His mind flexed around the alluring idea anyway, greedy for a forbidden fantasy. Life was about seizing opportunity right? How many people had the chance to do it under the stars, in warm sand, next to gentle waves? His body shook.

“We really shouldn’t.”

“We won’t,” Sean promised, staying close. “Plenty of other ways to be crazy.”

Breathless, Axl gulped. “Exactly.”

He turned back toward the party. Sean followed him so closely, Axl paused and let him close the distance between them so that he was in Sean’s arms again, his ass against Sean’s wakeful cock. Heart thumping up his throat, he decided what crazy thing he was up for trying. Definitely. “What about anal?”

Sean coughed lightly. “Really?”

Axl leaned into him, and Sean held him close, lips grazing the shell of his ear. “It’s not easy at first.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard. But I mean, you liked your first time, right?”

“Hm-mh.”

“So give me a first I can remember fondly. Again.”

Sean laughed but it was more of a _ka-yuck_. “Gladly.”

He pulled Axl by the hand back toward their house.


	3. Chapter 3

**:: :: ::  DAY TWO :: :: ::**

Dawn broke insanely early again. Like the living room, it was East facing and the curtains were sheer gauze so bright light woke them. When Axl opened his bleary eyes to a new day, he thought for a second the last twenty four hours had been a dream. But then he tried to move his body and man was he sore.

Reality hit him like a train. He was fucking his best friend. A man.

The night returned to him in sharp fragments. Yes, there had been some awkward preparations and painful breeches, but Axl didn’t remember being embarrassed or scared. Interesting. The longer he mulled it over, the more his mind kept going back to the way Sean had talked him through it all. A steady stream of explanation blended with praise and reassurances had coated Axl’s vulnerability so he never even felt exposed.

Sean lay beside him, sleepy eyelids so low they looked closed until he blinked, then shifted and began to stretch. “Morning.”

“Yeah.” Axl choked.

Sean hummed and rolled closer, caging Axl momentarily and inhaling his hair. “Want to run with me again?”

Axl didn't know if his body could take it but the answer was still yes. Running would clear his head.

They did the same route as the day before, but didn't race. Instead, they talked about being minorities in a small town like home. Axl mostly listened. He could tell Sean needed to say a bunch of stuff and a lot of it resonated with Axl. The world was so fucked up about this shit.

By the end of the jog, Sean had talked himself hoarse and they collapsed on the sand in front of the house. Axl patted his back and leaned against him in silent assurance that he was not alone.

The ocean looked weirdly calm and the sky didn't have a cloud in it. The sun had gotten higher, and now it was hard to determine exactly where the water stopped and the sky began. Axl wished he had a decent camera and any kind of photography skills whatsoever. Felt like a moment that should be frozen in time forever.

“Hit the showers and then the boardwalk?”

“No,” Sean said, dashing at the corner of one eye so fast Axl almost didn't see it. He pulled Axl into a kiss. Their heart rates were already up, sweat on their skin, adrenaline in their veins. What they did next in the living room floor constituted cardio workout.

Sean checked his watch and slapped Axl’s bare ass. “Oh, it’s almost time.”

“For what?” Axl asked, brushing at the faint rug burn on his knees as he caught his breath. Between the morning jogs, the dance offs, and the athletic sex, this weekend had far more exercise in it than he’d imagined.

“They do boat rides near here. My uncle says we shouldn’t skip it.”

“Yeah? That sounds cool, I guess.” Axl had never been on a boat before in his life. Not even a rowboat. The idea of joining the white sails out on the horizon was exciting but daunting too.

“It’ll be fun. We need to get ready. And we should probably hydrate before we leave.”

“Dibs on the shower.”

:: :: ::

Axl didn’t ask how much it cost to hire one of the local sailors to take them out. He didn’t want to know. It was surely a small fortune and knowing would only create tension that would eat away at his carefree weekend like a flame to cigarette paper. Or worse, Sean would refuse to tell him, which would just mean Sean felt pity. So instead, he just made Gilligan’s Island jokes and made the captain laugh enough times that it felt like he had bought his passage with charm.

It was easy to charm her. The woman had greying hair and an outgoing personality that meshed with Axl’s in a way that made conversation easy and hilarious. Sean stayed quiet, smiling through his initial bashfulness, speaking only when spoken to. When he grasped the basics of sailing before Axl did, the captain chortled. “Oh, so he’s smart, but quiet. I like that.”

Axl nodded. “He just got into med school.”

“Well, congratulations!”

Sean gave a sweet smile. “Thank you, Captain.”

She winked and then gestured to Axl. “And what about you, hon?”

“Me? Business school.”

“Gonna be a small business owner?”

Axl shrugged. “If I can think of a good one, I’d love to.”

“A doctor and business owner. You boys are on track to getting your own boat one day, if you work hard enough.”

They glanced at each other with excited smiles. Hearing parents say it and making your own boasts about it were nothing compared to a real life boat owner looking them dead in the eye and saying it could be done.

Axl felt good about his life trajectory.

“I’m gonna name it _Wet Spot_.”

The captain laughed through her nose. “Do what suits you, boys.”

Sean came up behind Axl and spoke low. “I’m not letting you name a boat _Wet Spot_ , dude.”

“What about Bone Doctor?”

Sean laughed, turning pink. “That’s a little better.”

With the Captain’s back turned, they had a moment of privacy which Axl capitalized on by catching Sean’s lips for a kiss. This was another one of those big life moments he shouldn’t let slip by. Making out on a sailboat: check.

Sean pulled his hips closer and deepened the kiss. Axl swelled and loosed little involuntary noises of satisfaction. His chin had grown prickly overnight and it was velvety. He gasped for breath when Sean broke the kiss.

“Think she'll let us below deck for a few minutes?”

Sean laughed. “No way am I asking her that.”

Axl bit his lip and wiggled against his hips. “But what if I want you right here, right now?”

Sean laughed some more and caught Axl's hips to stop his teasing. “ _Not here_ ,” he begged, eyes accusing.

Axl laughed and let him off the hook.

:: :: ::

Later that day, Axl stood propped against the porch railing. He couldn't get enough of today's view. All the shades of blue that stretched on forever. He felt calm looking at it and he needed calm. If he wasn't getting funky with Sean, then this was the only other way he could keep his head on.

Sean approached him from behind, arms encircling his waist, lips pressing to his shoulder. “Hot tub is all warmed up.”

“Great,” Axl leaned back in Sean’s arms. “I'll only get in if you promise to do bad things to me.”

“You are such a little slut,” Sean whispered approvingly. Axl looked to the ceiling and chuckled. He liked being called that. It made him feel bold, infused him with confidence enough to ride a dick like a pro, even though he was still learning.

“You like it.” Sean observed, reading him like a damn book. Seriously, Axl started to suspect some kind of hidden superpower in his best friend. A real freaking mind reader.

“Fuck yeah.”

Axl turned and leapt up, wrapping his legs around Sean’s waist. “I’m your slut. I set out to make this the best weekend of your life. Give me all you've got, Good Lookin’.”


	4. Chapter 4

**:: :: :: DAY THREE :: :: ::**

“I can't sleep,” Axl said into the dark. The alarm clock said it was after three in the morning. He knew Sean was still awake too from how often he moved his arms and legs.

“Me either. Shouldn't have taken that nap earlier.”

Axl laughed. “It was a sex coma. Couldn't be helped.”

A breathy snicker invaded Axl's space. He let Sean wrap around him and sighed in comfort.  But then his eyes flew open. What was he doing?

Cuddling? Sharing a bed with a fling? Even when he had his own room in the frat house, Devin hadn't stayed more than one night at a time. He didn't even spend more than two nights in a row with his own wife. How the hell was this going to stay casual if they slept in each other’s arms like this all weekend?

His breath zipped out of his body. Reflexively, he bumped his ass back against Sean. “Want to?”

A boyish chuckle from Sean meant sudden brain blood loss. Axl could feel him getting harder. Yeah. Good. Less thinking, more stupid fun.

He teased Sean with his ass a little more, until he was rigid and breathing heavily. “Might as well make it a party.”

Big warm hands swept down his chest and invaded his shorts. Axl bit his lip. “Mmm, feels good.”

Lips trailed over his shoulder and neck and earlobe. His cock stiffened in Sean's hand, eager as ever. He buried his face in a pillow and giggled. Maybe he was spoiling himself this weekend; real life was going to suck when he had to go back to a sexless existence.

No. Don't think about that shit.

Axl changed positions swiftly. He pinned Sean to the bed and grinded on him, a slow tease to build pressure. Desperate for the escape into another sex coma, Axl licked a nipple and whispered, “get good and hard, hard enough wreck my tight little ass. I want you to fuck my brains out.”

They had decidedly gone slow and easy so far, so that he could adjust to it. Axl was tired of the kiddie pool.

“I can do that.” Sean said, voice low and scratchy. He slapped Axl's butt. “Oh, I’ll fuck this ass so hard when I'm done, you won't remember your name.”

Axl gasped with desire. His own voice went down an octave. “Mmm, I need you so bad, Sean.”

They rolled again. Sean pressed him into the bed with a deep, sensual kiss that blocked out the rest of the world. Axl’s body went completely pliant, cock leaking with every throb. Sean's blind grab for the lube on the side table knocked something over. They laughed as he opened and closed the tube, then touched Axl’s fundament with slick, warm fingers. “Yes, yes, oh gawd.”

Axl existed in the moment, in his skin, no mind but for what his body craved. More of this delicious sex.

“When you showered, did you remember to--?”

“Yeah, yeah, I did,” Axl assured. It had been a weird conversation, and an even weirder shower (cleaning _deep_ ) but in the end a good step to take before trying out anal sex. Sean was so meticulous like that, with all the bases covered. Seriously, he was a love doctor.

“Wa-wanna try something?” Sean asked. Axl just wanted him to push inside again, like before when Sean's cock had filled him up and showed him that infamous line between pleasure and pain. An acquired taste Axl had acquired quite quickly if this burning need for it said anything.

Was there even anything else new to do? “Like what?”

“Trust me?”

He nodded, which Sean could feel in the dark because he had a handful of Axl’s curls. He received a kiss to the lips and then a few peppered down his body. Oral was far from new, and Axl started to ask but then---

With a powerful jerk, Sean pulled him further down the bed, lifted his hips, and buried his face behind Axl’s balls.

“Hoshit! Gah--aaad, Sean!” His beard against such sensitive skin made Axl’s entire body sing. The thing he did with his tongue, licking and stretching him, entering him-- _holy_ \--

Axl fisted the pillows, pushed one down on his face to muffle his cries. _Was this really fucking happening?_

“Like it, baby? Want me to keep going?”

The words ghosted against Axl's teased, slick hole and made him shiver. Sean's hands swept over his body in reassuring patterns. “Tell me, baby. Tell me what to do to you.”

Axl's voice broke. “Keep--going.”

Sean's hands went to work on his balls as his tongue went back to his hole. “When did you--?? Oh, fuck, you're g-good at this!”

Sean hummed but didn't stop working. Axl crossed his eyes and swore into the pillow. “Gahdammit your beard feels so fucking good.”

He pulled back to run his prickly chin over Axl's thighs. “Growing it for you, baby.”

Something flipped in Axl's chest. He choked and moaned. “Fuck me now?”

His fingers and toes were shaking; must have been desire. “Come on, give me your cock.”

Sean lined up and pushed in, face to face, bodies close. Axl buried his face in Sean's neck and held on, gasping a little mantra _give me your cock give me your cock_.

The next several minutes passed in a frenzy of pleasure. Sean pushed him to the edge and then eased off. He all but came to a complete stop. Axl writhed, panting hot breaths. “Don't stop, don't stop!”

He shook, a sign of exhaustion from the position, and Axl conceded the need for a change. He wound up on top, rocking backwards onto Sean's cock with both hands on the headboard.

That's when the sky outside the bedroom window turned lavender, and Axl could suddenly make out the outlines of Sean and the room. He traced what he saw and kept riding. Lavender turned to gold and by the time Axl could see the reverent look on Sean's face, he couldn't stop if he wanted to.

His body seized. He shouted hoarsely and spilled all over the place. It clung, translucent, in the coppery hairs on Sean's heaving chest as he bucked up in Axl with the erratic finishing thrusts of his own release.

Axl sat, stunned by the powerful finish. Maybe he was even outside his body. He felt oddly one with the sunbeams and the gulls calling outside.

“Hmm, that was incredible.”

Axl tried to catch his breath, looking down at Sean's big smile and glittering pecs. “Yeah.”

Sean laced all ten of their fingers. “Not many days left. Let's skip the run and just stay in bed.”

Dread cascaded over Axl's bones like a bag of marbles split open on the top shelf. He sagged and sank back to his side of the bed. Separating from Sean made his breath catch and his skin flash cold.

“You good?” Sean asked.

Axl turned his back on him. His head was spinning too much to answer. Sean touched his shoulder. “Baby? What’s wrong? Tell me.”

He tried but when he parted his lips only shaky breath came out. That freaking word _baby_ ; every time he heard it his heart swelled. It was about a hundred times better than slut.

 _Baby_ had the power to evoke those tender feelings of complete trust they had forged as Axl learned to bottom with this man who smiled like the damn sun. _Baby_ felt good. Too good.

Sean laughed. “Wow, did I really fuck your brains out? Ha! Donahue 1, Heck 0.”

Axl laughed and felt moisture in the corner of his eyes. He buried his head in the pillows, took a deep breath and then lept out of bed. “I want to run. I'm all hyped up. Hurry if you're coming with.”

He darted down the hall to the bathroom before Sean could try sweet talk and make him stay. Things were spinning out of control here.

That look on Sean's face as the sun rose while they fucked. That wasn’t--it couldn't be--No. Axl convinced himself he had imagined it. Dreamed it. A sleepwalking vivid dream kind of thing. Ha. Boning in his sleep. Sleep boning. Nice.

Sean met him outside for the run. Out of well laid habit, Axl had himself completely under control and embodied the definition of casual. The morning unfolded like any other. Safe and predictable.

They swam and sunbathed and explored the beach in the opposite direction of their jog route. They ate at the boardwalk and streamed Netflix to the huge TV in the den. No one mentioned the dwindling number of days left, or the way they had started this one in the heights of passion, and Sean only called him dude.

Axl could almost forget it even happened. Except when silences fell. According to the weekend agenda, these silences were supposed to be broken by Deep Talk or, at the very least, intense sex.

Sean seemed to sense that sex was suddenly off the table, so broke the ice with a zinger. “Dude, have you started to feel weird about what we’re doing?”

“No. I think it's because--okay, you know how you, uh. You rimmed me?”

Sean turned pink and gave a breathy, “yeah.”

“I wasn't expecting something like that to happen.”

Sean frowned. “What, did you not like it? I thought for sure you--i never would have--”

“I liked it, man, dayum. Calm down.”

Sean chuckled. “Then what do you mean?”

“You’re, like, the first person I've slept with that taught me stuff. And I know that's a given since you popped my ass cherry but, I mean more than that. The way you talked to me and stuff and the way you made me trust you so much in the moment. It--” voice cracking, Axl gulped and wished he could laugh to lighten the mood. “It was just really intense, you know?”

Sean sat still, hand in his hair, a smile on his lips. “My pleasure, dude. It's just how I roll.”

Axl gasped. “Dude, I--” his voice broke. “I love you, okay?”

Sean audibly lost his breath. Axl jumped up, but pointedly did not look back. “I get it if you don't feel the same. I mean, fuck, this was just supposed to be ships passing. You have med school to think about. I get it. Don't say it back.”

He reached the doorway.

“Axl--”

“ _Don’t_.” He glanced over at his best friend. “I won't believe you if you do. You're too nice. You'd say it to anyone who said it first.”

Hazel eyes were wider than Axl had ever seen them. His mouth hung partially open, his chest heaved irregularly. When Axl thought he saw a glimmer of wetness in Sean's gaze, he turned his back. “I shouldn’t have said anything. We still have a day and half left. I didn't mean to screw up the weekend.”

Sean crossed the room and caught his hand.

“Baby, look at me.”

Axl couldn't. _He just couldn’t_.

“Your feelings are valid, okay? And they're beautiful.” Sean kissed him. “Thank you for telling me. It didn't mess up the weekend. I’m going to remember this always. I'm going to cherish it.”

Axl shuddered. “I feel so stupid.”

“It's not. Baby, it's not. I'm so honored.”

“Stop _calling_ me that. It’s--it’s not helping, okay? Let's just stop talking about it. Pretend I didn’t say it.”

Stunned, Sean took a minute to respond. At length, he looked to the floor and said, “Axl, you're my best friend and that is never going to change. Nothing changes that.”

“Okay. Great,” Axl said loudly. Habit to erase everything into casual oblivion kicked in so hard he shook head to toe. “Awesome. Let’s….” He started ripping off his clothes. “Let's just bone and forget everything.”

Maybe it was a colossally stupid way to change the subject, but Axl was a slave to his body’s demands. An instinct to feast now before the famine.

Sean visibly lacked the strength to resist and floated closer to Axl timidly. Axl breathed deeply and purposefully used his sexiest voice. “All aboard the Ax train.”


	5. Chapter 5

**:: :: :: DAY FOUR :: :: ::**

They broke the bed. It still stood up fine, but a screw had definitely snapped and now it swayed a little too much. Afraid of breaking it further, they moved their things into the other bedroom for the next night.

This was west facing, and the following morning, Axl opened his eyes to a sun filled room, alone. He sat bolt upright. Sean wasn't with him.

The clock said 8:00 am. What the hell?

Axl went searching for Sean, or actually any human life, because he felt like he just woke up 28 Days Later or something. It felt _off_. He didn't like it.

“Sean?”

The TV was on, playing lowly. Sean was dressed, eating breakfast on the couch. Axl felt like he was in the twilight zone. “When did you get up?”

“Usual. Went for a jog.”

“Why didn't you wake me?”

Sean looked a little guilty. “You looked too peaceful. I didn't want to bother you.”

Axl huffed. That felt like a convenient lie. “Yeah right.”

Sean glanced sharply at him. “Are you mad?”

“Nope.” Axl said. Except he was and he had no idea why. ….wait….Yes he did.

Breathless, he circled the couch. Then--impulsively--sat on Sean’s lap.

“I didn't like waking up alone.” He confessed. “Don't say anything. Just. That's why I'm agitated. It was weird. One minute I had you and then---” Axl cleared his throat and moved to his own cushion. “Okay. Whatever. I'm not mad. Do we have any more pop tarts?”

Sean offered his second one. Axl took it and focused on the TV like he was dying to know what happened next on Days of Our Lives.

“Look, Axl. Let's talk deep for a second.”

He groaned past strawberry filling.

“Baby, I think you're scared and that’s so normal.” Sean’s slip up using that pet name set Axl’s teeth on edge like an addict in reach of a needle as Sean continued, oblivious, “I mean, fuck, you are going through so much right now. It's okay.”

“Yeah. So?” Axl snapped.

“So, I'm scared too a little.” Sean snapped back. He dropped the plate on the coffee table with a little bit of force and turned sideways on the couch to face him fully.

“We’re in this thing together, you know. Just because I know more about my sexuality doesn't mean I'm immune to feeling something. Just because we _said_ it was casual doesn't make it so.

"I don't know if you just love me because I'm the first or what but dammit I don't care, Axl. I don't care. That's why I went running alone. I needed to think. I love you, baby. And not because you said it first. Because you're my best friend and I've never been happier and I want to keep you okay?”

Axl shivered. Hot tears on his face alarmed him. Jesus, was he really crying right now? He couldn't even look at Sean. He gasped for air.

Sean squeezed his shoulder, caressed the back of his neck, and pulled him into a tight hug. “I'm not fighting it. Let's just be in love and figure the rest out later okay?”

Axl held on tight like his life depended on it because it felt like it did. Everything, _everything_ , was turning on a dime at this moment. His entire future hung in the balance. And that was fucking _terrifying._

Sean made love to him on the couch.

He was nervous again so Sean talked him through it, but not the physical stuff this time. He talked about his heart and his hopes and his dreams and it was all about Axl. So much so that a few times, all Sean did was breathe his name like a prayer and conveyed more than a hundred words.

“I don’t like this,” Axl confessed as they lay in each other’s arms, unsure of where one man stopped and the other began. “Love is dumb. It actually freaking _hurts_ and when I think about it too much I get scared. I mean, what the hell? I thought Love was supposed be a good thing!”

Sean laughed. “I know, dude, for real.”

“Don’t call me dude.”

His nose pushed into Axl's ear as he gave a butterfly kiss to the cheek. “Aw. Baby.”

Axl hummed. “Now _that_ helps.”

“Really?”

“Hm-mh.”

“Helps when I call you baby?”

Axl laughed breathlessly. _Giddy_. Sean bit him and they lost the rest of the day to passion.


	6. Chapter 6

**:: :: :: TUESDAY MORNING; DEPARTURE :: :: ::**

They woke early and went for one last run on the beach.

Rain clouds darkened the colors of the ocean view and pushy wind forced Axl to tie his hair up again. The invisible fingers tugged at their clothes like a lover eager to undress them. In the distance, they could see the occasional flicker of lightning, but they still had blue sky overhead.

After the run, they cooled off by walking barefoot, hand in hand down the shore just to soak in every last vision of this place where their lives had changed in four short days. Sean drew interlocking hearts in the sand. “Look, babe.”

“You are such a dork.” Axl said fondly, snapping a picture of it anyway. They both had their phones out, snapping pic after pic, angry with themselves for not taking more during the weekend.

Axl took typical selfies and shots of the scenery and candid pics of Sean.

Sean spent all his time collecting aesthetically pleasing shells and driftwood and sea glass to put on instagram with cheesy quotes. When Axl teased him about it, they wrestled in the sand for a minute and then looked up at the darkening sky above as they laughed and caught their breath. It would start raining soon, and they needed to hit the road, but not yet. Neither one of them wanted to say goodbye to this magical place.

“Let’s see,” Sean said, reaching over Axl’s body to sort through the shells and stones. He discarded the less perfect ones and placed the definitive keepers on Axl’s chest. He held the clearest, smoothest chunk of blue sea glass up next to Axl’s eyes. “Yeah, that’s the color. Keeping this one. Want anything else, baby?”

Axl bit his lip. “Nah. I just want to come back someday.”

“Oh, definitely.” Sean’s voice lowered with sincerity and he looked down into Axl's eyes. They could both begin to see outlines in a lavender future together, one that would grow golden and bright.

Rain drops dotted Axl’s chest, Sean’s shoulders, and the sand around them. They lept up, gathered the keepsakes, and dashed down the beach toward the house. Thunder boomed, and Sean shrieked. Axl laughed until lightning flashed and then he squealed like a girl and kicked up more sand as he sped up.

Despite their speed, they were still soaked when they reached the house.

Under the safety of the porch, they turned to look at the beach. Axl barely looked at the gray sky or the choppy waves or the darkened sand. Sean caught his eye instead. T-shirt plastered to his body, hair blackened by the water, raindrops glistening on his hairy face as he took in the view, captured by the beauty of the distant storm.

Axl came up behind him and peeled his shirt up to touch his sides and belly. Sean turned his back on the ocean and pulled Axl flush against him, plucked at his shirt tail until his warm hands caressed the small of Axl’s back, fingers delving below the waistband of his trunks. “We should get out of these wet clothes before we head home.”

They went inside and maybe they ended up hitting the road a couple of hours behind schedule, but they were simply in no rush, because now home was where they were together.


End file.
